Make it happen March

This weekend Julie and I went to see Safe Haven, it was really good!  I had a list of things I wanted to get done but when I got home Saturday night I got a migraine right as I went to bed.  It was the worst one I've had in awhile, all I wanted to do was sleep.  Two very expensive migraine meds and a leftover Demerol later and still was fighting my migraine.  It lasted about 12 hours.  So my to-do list for today didn't get touched. 

-In other news I am recently addicted to Twitter and Instagram.  I find myself thinking of everything in hashtags. 

-This is "make it happen March."  Time to get back to eating right and the gym.  My partner in on this action is going to motivate me even though she is 4 hours away.  :) 

-I am soooo ready for spring.  Being snowed in was no fun.  Attempting to drive in the massive snow the day it hit was no fun.  I am ready to be sitting out on a patio somewhere relaxing in the warm weather. 

Lesson of the day

Today I learned a valuable lesson.  Do not go to Wal-Mart without first taking a Xanax. 
It seems like I haven't updated this in forever.  I've been working a lot lately.  It seems I've had a bit of a social life lately, which is nice.  Caylea is keeping me busy on top of it all.  Today I managed to get some work done, clean the house, survive Wal-Mart, and have it all done in time to watch The Walking Dead. 

 Feeling like I am ready to get back to the gym....but it has been over 6 months and I'm scared.  It'll hurt. 

I love this line! 

Today

Sorry I have been MIA this month...but today, today was a good day. Most fun I have had in a long time. A very good day indeed.

2013

I don't know why updating this blog on my iPad is so difficult to add pics but I am going to try to figure it out. I am too lazy to get my laptop out. I started out the new year with a migraine today, not the way I wanted to kick off the start of what is supposed to be a better year.  I am trying to think of anything that causes heartbreak like a workout.  Whether it's an issue with friends, a significant other, pets, kids, anything that causes pain it is like a workout.  When you work out your muscles get sore and tear so they can come back stronger.  So just like that when my heart breaks I plan on it repairing and coming back stronger in the end. I hope to feel stronger and happier in 2013.  It would be a great start if my headache would go away!

On another note I looooove my new job.  There are some great, fun people in the training group.  One guy told me the other day he didn't believe I was an introvert.  So apparentely I have better acting skills than I thought, lol.  I am forced to not be an introvert in this role.  I am grateful for this opportunity as it is one big part in me being happier.  I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds.  Like Pinterest quotes say, if I thought I was happy before in the wrong situations, think of how happy I could be in the right situations.

Hope everyone had a great holiday and has a great year in store!

Resolving

I was just looking back to find my resolutions for 2012 and it appears I didn't make a list.  Here are some highlights from the year:

• Finally went thru with the surgeries I have wanted for years
• Had numerous girls trips
• Completed CPCU
• Got the new role as Fire Claims Trainer which I am loving

Some things about 2012 I didn't enjoy:

• Numerous suck it moments.  Too many to count but more lows than I would like to experience again.
• Drama.  Too. Much. Drama. 

I'm not sure if I said 2013 has to be better if that is jinxing it or if that is a good attitude.  At this point here is what I know I want out of 2013:

• Eliminate drama.  I don't want to create any and I don't want others dragging me down with theirs.  Funny how much more grown up I feel when I start taking myself out of situations I don't need to be a part of.  And honestly it is exhausting when drama is constant.  I am not talking about not being there for friends...that is different.  It is the thriving off drama that I can't be a part of. 
• Continue to get stronger from the things that had me weak.  I don't need some people I thought I did in order to enjoy my life.  Remember what I deserve.  And do not Internet stalk those who do not deserve me.  Continue taking Xanax.
• Work on my book.
• Focus on developing leadership skills at work.
• Get back to the gym!  My surgeries have had me out of the gym for six months. 
• Handle anger better if something does make me angry.  I.e. don't react emotionally right away.  
• Do not spend frivolously.  Try to use up things I have before buying new.
• Save for new car down payment.
• Say no when I want to. Say yes when I want to. Speak up when I want to. 
• Do the right thing, even if the right thing isn't always the easy thing. 

Some of these goals may seem hard to measure or vague, but they are meaningful to me. Just since recently eliminating some drama from my life I have already noticed a difference in how I have no problem with people that drove me crazy before.  Really it was those causing the drama that stressed me out and I took it out on other people around me.  So I do hope for good things in 2013.  I am working on things within my control this year.  

Surprises

Things that were a pleasant surprise this weekend:

• How good the new James Bond Skyfall movie was. Bond makes my heart beat faster.  Love a handsome man in a nice suit. 
• The amazing chocolate covered cherries my mom brought me from The Candy Factory.  Ruined Queen Anne cherries for me.  Seriously. Amazing.  Chocolate covered cherries are my favorite this time of year.  Plus they are so cheap.  Not anymore. 
• The shirt I have had me eye on at Express was 40 percent off.  No, I wasn't crazy enough to go to the mall, just did some online shopping. 
• 50 percent off super cute sparkly tops at New York and Company online. 
• Gas for $2.89

For an unpleasant surprise I have to say I am a little bored with The Walking Dead, Private Practice, and Grey's Anatomy this season. 

Time to start thinking of my resolutions for 2013.  I am ready for this year to be done. 2012 can suck it. 

Advice

So apparently this blog and/or my laptop is just giving me fits and I can't upload the actual photos of what I wanted to.  So I will type it out.  I was sitting in my salon this morning waiting on my appointment and I found some great advice in Real Simple magazine.  Advice your mom never gave you it said.  So I took a picture of it with my phone but it won't upload for me.  So I will summarize the main points that stood out to me.  I needed these right now:

"How to Walk Away"

• We hate to quit.  Not just because quitters never win but because of a cognitive distortion that psychologists and economists call the "sunk cost fallacy."  For example, you are sitting on the couch watching a show and it stinks, you change the channel.  But you are in a movie theater and have paid $10 for a movie.  Will you walk out if the movie is bad?  Less likely because you have sunk $10 into it and you will never get your money back. 
• Which future life is better?  The one in which you sit through the awful movie or the one in which you leave?  Yet, you have a nagging feeling that you somehow must recoup your investment, however meager.
• Think of quitting as an investment in your future, happier self.  The you who is free of the lousy relationship or job that is draining your will to go on. 
• There is a good chance someone will be unhappy with your decision, so get comfortable with being uncomfortable for awhile. 
• The reality is that in walking away we may have to sit with a range of unpleasant feelings, including anxiety and guilt.  So when you make an important decision like leaving, take the time to think it through, then be prepared for the difficult emotions that invariably come with change.

"How to Make the Best Decision"

• Life is a string of choices.  It's tantalizing to think that there's one and only one correct branch of every decision tree and that it's just waiting to be uncovered by a sufficient amount of rational analysis. 
• We feel an obligation to use all our intellectual tools to find the absolute ideal option.  But it's a fool's errand.
• The more we agonize over a decision, the more paralyzed we become, and the greater our potential for unhappiness later. 
• Pros and cons are not always equal.  There may be 244 reasons not to do something but how do they stack up against one, really big pro?
• After you've discovered what is really in your heart take the pressure off by lowering your expectations.  Then do your best not to look back.  Revisiting decisions after you've made them is not a good idea.  If you do you'll find a lot to be dissatisfied with. 
• Success is getting it wrong as infrequently as possible.

"How to Fight Right"

• The way a conflict discussion begins determines how it's going to end 96% of the time. 
• Two people can fight fairly often and still have a healthy relationship.  It's not about the number of bouts but the techniques used in the ring.
• Contempt is the best predictor of divorce, so take note of dismissive eye-rolling and other below-the-belt strategies including personal attacks and the silent treatment.
• Starting a conversation gently is the key to ending it well. 
• If only people could listen with the same passion they feel about being heard.
• If you find  yourself in a frenzy of a racing heart, sweaty palms, stop the argument.  Stress hormones inhibit cognitive function like impulse control and attention. 
• Harriet Lerner is the author of "Marriage rules:  A Manual for the Married and Coupled Up."  I think this would be a great read for a future relationship. 

I needed to read all of these things right now.  First I needed to be reminded once I made a decision not to look back.  Trust my gut and go with it.  For many decisions in my life I have wanted a magic answer and made pro/cons lists and waited for it to just be clear but nothing ever is.  And I hate feeling like I invested so much of myself in something then giving it up.  But I'm giving it up in exchange for a new investment.  My old investment was tanking.  I definitely have had to be uncomfortable after decisions.  But I love that they said success is getting it wrong as infrequently as possible.  By the way, all of the above was paraphrased from the article. 

On a lighter note-I discovered this morning I sleep text.  You know, like sleep walking except texting.  Apparently someone whose number I didn't recognize called me last night at 1:53am and I didn't answer.  However, at 1:54 am I sent them a text saying "I'm in a meeting."  What?  That is the excuse my brain came up with at 1:54am in the morning?  Could be legit right?