Weekend recap

Thanks to Jona I discovered this amazing new toy...the swiffer sweeper vac. I never knew I could have so much fun sucking up dog hair from the tile floor. No more broom. Thanks Jona, this thing is freaking awesome!

Saturday consisted of:

running to Target, twice

Exchanged the lime green chair I had in the reading corner for this pink paisley one along with a matching ottoman. Caylea hates it, I love it.

Going to Maurices to find new jeans and found cute new shirt instead.

Left Target and saw a G6 being lifted up on a tow truck, knew exactly how that person must be feeling!

Came home from the mall and climbed into my comfy new bed sheets with my comfy new fluffy pillows and flipped on the tv and plugged in the laptop. This was at 5pm. Didn't get out of bed all night. Except for popsicles. Awesome.

Watched a movie from Netflix, Tell No One. I read the book and wanted to see the movie, didn't realize it was all in French. Weird though, halfway through it I had to stop and ask myself if they were speaking English all the sudden. Weird how you get so used to the captioning you don't even notice it.

Felt pretty lazy today.

Sunday:

woke up and thought "I should run, I should mow, I should work OT, I should go to the pool." So many "to-dos" that I couldn't figure out what the heck to do. So put together a shelf/bench I bought for the closet and it frustrated me to no end. It wasn't even hard, the darn screws just didn't want to line up.

Had pent up frustration from the darn shelf so just stopped thinking and jumped in car and went to work

Was uber-productive at work for 5 hours

Kinda creepy being there by myself though

Came home and lifted weights and ran on the treadmill

Mowed lawn

Noticed 12 year old boy across the street watching me mow, after I was done he offered to let me borrow their blower. Super nice.

Stood back to admire my hard work and realized I think I accidentally mowed part of the neighbors yard that he had just mowed. It's kinda noticable since my mower setting is much lower than his.

Sent text to neighbor apologizing for sucking at mowing. He was cool with it.

Felt very productive today.

Found this write up on what has become one of my fave blogs...

the ‘as in the beginning’ buddha rule
There is a Buddhist saying:
As in the beginning, so in the middle, so in the end.
...and it's one of my life compasses. It never fails me and it's nearly always proven true.
Things often continue how they start. The click, the comfort, the clarity – or the lack thereof, is there at the get-go and whatever the dynamic is, it’ll just keep going to greater or lesser degrees.
IGNORE EARLY SIGNS AT YOUR OWN PERIL
I was looking to hire an important player for one of my businesses and got set up with Start Up Guy. Start Up Guy blew off our first scheduled meeting entirely. He stood me up and didn't call for two days to reschedule (I'm not sure he even apologized to my assistant.) But he was so seemingly qualified and connected that I chose to ignore the As-In-The-Beginning-Rule, and hired him anyway. Do I need to tell you how that middle and end went? Yep. In one way or another he continued to stand me up, until it all came down.
EASY DOES IT, AND DOES IT GOOD
When I’m tempted to take short cuts or ignore early flags, I remind myself that the most fab, wonderful, sustaining experiences and relationships in my life all began incredibly easily. Examine your first encounters and kick-offs. They may be a micro of the macro.

You have oodles of critical information in the beginning if you’re paying very close attention.

And if you don't buy it from Buddha or me, then take it from Maya Angelou who says, "The first time someone shows themselves to you, believe them."

On the road again

Only took until about 1pm yesterday to get my car fixed, I was pretty happy with that because I wasn't expecting to pick it up until 5. I called the tow truck guy who was the nicest tow truck guy I've ever talked to and got a fairly cheap tow bill. Called the pontiac dealer shop and told them the car was on the way and he asked me what was going on, so I said "the purple starter wire is chafing against the ac line, need to repair the wire and reroute." He was like "ooooooook" and I said "Well that's what I think is wrong anyways." He called me later and said I was totally right and bill was $91. I about jumped up and down, so excited the bill was less than $100. So managed to pick the car up and still get done almost all my errands I had planned on and made it to see the Ugly Truth. it was alright...not as good as I was expecting. Today thought I might make a trip to the pool but I think it's gonna be kinda cloudy all day. I really kind of feel like being lazy. So I'm playing it by ear today.

Day off agenda

So I decided I'd take a day of vacation tomorrow, it's been awhile since I took one, thought I'd treat myself to a day off and some me time. My agenda included: return shirt to Penny's, look for new jeans, renew car tags, go see the Ugly Truth.

Not on my agenda....returning to Starbucks first thing in the morning where my car sits because it won't start, having it towed to who knows where to pay who knows how much to fix it. I know exactly what the problem is thanks to the internet (internet doesn't lie right?), so hopefully I can convince the mechanic I know what it is and sound like I know what I'm talking about so they don't have to take forever to diagnose it. Think he will believe me if I pull out my blackberry and read what I typed up on my memo pad? :)

Not real pleased that my day off has turned into car maintenance. Not real pleased that my car decided it will no longer start just by me replacing the fuse. Not real pleased that 2 trips to Auto Zone and 4 fuses later car still won't start. I have one fuse left, I'm crossing my fingers that somehow overnight my car will decide it will start up when I try this one last fuse and I can at least drive it to some location versus towing. Also crossing my fingers the car shop will have a loaner car so I can still accomplish a few things tomorrow. But I have a bad feeling that my relaxing day off is going to turn into a stressful day. Should've just worked. Oh yeah, totally feeling sorry for myself. I'll get over it.

Pic from happier days, when my car was being good to me.

Fun and Foam

Hello! So had a full weekend this weekend with ZERO breakdowns. Yay! Missy came to see me and it was a blast. It was great to have some girl time. We had great weather on Saturday for a trip to the Osage Beach outlets down by Lake of the Ozarks. We did our part to contribute to the economy. Saturday night we went to comedy at a place called Deja Vu. After comedy there was a foam party downstairs. You want to talk about people watching. It was more entertaining than the comedian. Their definition of "foam party" was more like a little tent on the side of the dance floor forming what looked like a huge bubble bath. It was hilarious to watch the bouncer's whose job it was to keep the foam in the tent. And as Missy pointed out it was a little hard to take the huge muscled bouncer seriously with foam on his head. Oh on another note...mowing the lawn. Yeah, sucks. It's fine till I get to the hill. That is a pain in the rear. I was exhausted after I was done. My neighbor talks about how low the mower setting is compared to what he uses. Well it's gonna stay that way so I can mow as little as possible.

My flower pics are a little out of order. These started out with just one flower, now there's 5. I'm so happy to have flowers growing instead of dying.

Caylea and me on her birthday. She's twelve. Twelve.

But not to old to dig in to birthday cake.

Her favorite present. Now I don't have to worry about my camera battery being about done when I get mine out. She takes it everywhere.

Her other gift. Seasons 1 and 2 of Alf. Yep, she wanted this for her birthday. So I was watching some episodes with her and realized Alf was really freaking funny!

Obsessed with these right now. Pink is the best.

So I am loving all my flowers and they are doing great! These two have remained short...

while the ones next to them have gone crazy. They must just be in a better position for the sun slightly to the right.

The orange flowers started out as just one of those sections, now there are more like 3 sections. It's so cool to me that they are growing! And I'm not killing it! Even better...I have never watered them. Just letting the rain take care of it seems to be working.

I do really like the ones that are growing straight up.

So Missy and I both managed to walk out of the Coach outlet without a purse!! We just bought a few other accessories. We found a Coach camera case, how fun is that!? It also works for a case for my phone. The pink and brown matches the purse I'm carrying right now.

$19. Eyeglass case. So I don't wear glasses...but it works great to hold all 9 lipglosses that I manage to throw in my purse.

A make up bag for me and a wristlet for Caylea. She thinks it's pretty cool to own her own Coach.

A little reading corner I put upstairs.

Caylea taking pictures of her nice clean room. Took me 4 hours to tackle the mess that was in here.

I should've taken a before picture. I've threatened her with taking her phone if she doesn't keep it clean. I don't know how she did it, I don't think a mess like that could've been created even if I tried.

I seriously had to dig my way into her closet. The door wouldn't open. So I had to pull out whatever I could reach until I managed to get in the damn thing. It was unreal.

For Caylea's birthday my mom got her a makeover with a guy who was coming in from LA who does make up for the stars. She loved it and came home looking like she was 19.

He really made her eyes stand out. He did a great job. She just isn't allowed to leave the house looking like that.

This is my mom and Caylea with Kent, the Lancome guy at Dillards that told them about the celebrity makeover event. Caylea loves Kent. She called him one day to try to make me a make over appointment. They told her he was off the day she called, she said his normal day off is Tuesdays so she was surprised he wasn't there. I was like "You know his schedule?" Funny.

Caylea has created her own blog. http://cayleasblog.blogspot.com/ It's funny and she writes just like she is talking to you in person. I had no idea she created it until recently.

Equilibrium

Anyone see the movie Equilibrium with Christian Bale. Interesting idea about human emotions. Right now I am wishing I had a shot that they gave themselves in the movie to remove feelings. My favorite line in the movie is "Emotion is chaos." Amen.

So last night had a bit of a breakdown. Didn't want to waste my Saturday laying around depressed so I allowed myself about an hour of laying in bed feeling sorry for myself this morning. Then got up and went and ran 6 miles. Came home, decided I couldn't face a full afternoon left alone with my thoughts without another likely breakdown...so went to work for four hours to distract myself some more. I am going to pop in the movie Knowing...and then I am hoping to tackle Caylea's room and do the impossible, have it looking decent again.

So in other news I have to get my car into the shop because the starter fuse keeps blowing. The first time it happened I thought it was the battery, a friend showed me it was the fuse and how to change it. So I've just kept some spare fuses in my car. I looked like quite the mechanic when my car wouldn't start in the work parking lot and Wackenhut came to ask if I needed a jump. I said no and proceeded to open up the fuse box and change my fuse and start er up. After I spent about 5 mins. trying to figure out how to open the darn hood that is. Just always has to be a little something to give me away that I don't really know what I am doing. :)

Sorry to be so negative lately. I am just frustrated at the things that are right there but yet out of reach. Anyways I'll try to post more happy posts.

A few more quotes that I'm feeling a little bit like lately

I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. ~From the television show The Wonder Years

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too. ~Missy Altijd

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."-Carl Jung

Ok, done, sorry again if I am a downer. I will post a happy post about Caylea's birthday next time.

Hope

this is true, cause I am so darn tired of crying lately.

"Eyes that do not cry, do not see."

A Shyla moment

Does anyone else love walking around Wal-Mart and Target when they start to put all the back to school/dorm supplies and decorations out? They have THE cutest little things. Like picture frames made out of cork board, magnetic dry erase boards in cute little patterns, colorful magnets. Who really needs a frame with a cork board around it, you aren't going to want to stick a bunch of stuff on there and cover up the picture. But still so cute and I want it! The colors are always fun, pinks, greens, purples. Why don't they sell fun stuff in those colors all the time? I am especially obsessed with organization stuff like these

So....who knew an ethernet cable and a phone cable weren't the same thing? I figured it out after I spent an hour trying to set up my wireless router and wondering why it wouldn't connect to the internet. Called the cable company tech support and they told me they showed my modem working but didn't show my router....well that is because the cord I just bought at Wal-Mart is apparently not right and I somehow managed to make it fit in the holes. I know you guys miss my "Shyla moments" right? But now after 4 long days I have internet again...it was unpleasantly unbearable for me not to be able to get online, and absolute torture for Caylea!

Had a really really good counseling session yesterday....it was my last freebie and I am now convinced I should have gone to counseling a long time ok and really don't want to stop going. She really helped me realize some truths about some of the things I am feeling and I walked out feeling so much better than I did when I walked in. I had 6 freebies and feel like I was just getting started. I wonder if it is draining for a counselor to listen to other people's issues all day along.

Stamina, journaling, coloring, and other randomness

Quotes found once again on this blog.
"Just because you can take it doesn't mean you should. Stamina does not always equate to bliss."

Love love love this one!

It's funny to me how I will run across a quote and it feels like it was just said just for me/my situation. I wonder how we all take the meanings in quotes differently.

I may have said this before but I'm finding blogging somewhat theraputic. It's like a public journal. Which means of course my content is filtered. :) I'm discovering lately I have a zillion thoughts running through my head at once. I have been loving my Blackberry and using it as an electronic journal for my random thoughts. Then I have a journal by my bed which isn't a "write a paragraph" type of journal but just randomness. Then there is my running journal in my purse. So all in all I'm storing/collecting journals all over the place! (so again sorry if I tend to repeat anything...it's multiple-journaling syndrome)

So to summarize the past few days:

-Came home to find the big screen TV gone to a new home.

-Had been looking forward to a long weekend

-Am now working OT all weekend

-Mostly in order to save for a new big TV. Somehow the 19" one just doesn't fit quite right in the living room.

-It's like I went from watching shows in a movie theater to watching shows in the waiting room of a dr's office

-Had a terrible run

-Had a really great run after I could barely muster up the motivation to hit the trail with my pounding headache

-I just reached a point on the trail where I felt the need to stop and walk when this guy runs by me pushing a stroller. His kid says "hi" to me and he says "Good job!" Funny how this comment from a random stranger motivated me to start running again. It was nice.

-Had some deep conversation with a good friend

-I think I got some new "quotes" out of these conversations

-Had this overwhelming urge to buy a coloring book and crayons and color

-Again feeling like I just want to clean and organize everything in the house...the fridge, my jewelry box, the closet, my dresser drawers, the hall closest, Caylea's room, powerwash the house...I could keep going

-Felt like I was teetering on the edge of someone saying just the right thing to push me over and I wouldn't be able to hold in the tears. Came close, but managed to stay on the edge.

-Went to the dentist, hadn't been in a year and had put it off as long as possible. Thought for sure I had lost a filling, nope, no cavities or lost fillings! I did a few fist pumps with a "Yes!" after my dentist told me that. They must not get that reaction much based on the look they gave me. Since I am new to him he doesn't understand my dental woes. My old dentist would've high fived me.

-Been racking my brain to figure out who my new dentist reminds me of. I'm pretty sure it is a cartoon character but I just can't pinpoint it.

-Laying in the dentist chair I told the nurse it would be a much more enjoyable experience if the chair were a massaging chair. May make poking around in the mouth a bit trickier but would be enjoyable none the less.

-Now I am off to paint my toes hot pink. No pedicures till I pay for a new big screen!